This is my last blog post, I gave myself a year and now I want to start really focusing on celebrating the living while trying hard to push past the grieving. I know some days will still bring sad moments  but most days I am going to work on being grateful that we had 31 fun, happy and eventful years with this crazy kid!
                                        Happy Birthday Grand Punkmaster, we love you!

Things I learned this year.......


Some of these things I already knew but were reaffirmed as I looked at life with a different perspective this year after the death of my son.



~Even when you think there is nothing anyone can do to surprise you, you are wrong.  Sometimes the surprising things that we as humans do are awful or shocking but much of the time the surprises are humbling and pretty amazing.



~We as a whole are all better people when we stick together, when we stand up for each other, when we show our vulnerability and are open about it.



~If you fuck up, if you have an asshole moment, own it! People will respect you more for it and best of all you will respect yourself.



~Ask for help when you need it and accept the kindness of others when they give it. Admitting that you are sometimes weak is actually one of the most courageous things you can do.



~Try to be your best you everyday and even if your best sucks some days other days you will rock it.



~You don't always have to say yes, but don't always say no.  Regret is by far the worst emotion on my worst emotions list.



~My old saying "Nobody ever ALWAYS or NEVERS" isn't true because I will always miss my son and I will never forget that we lost him to an evil nemesis called depression.



~Life is not fair and no one ever said it was going to be.  Make the most of what you've got, don't ever take it for granted.



~I am blessed with the most badass family and friends that anyone could ask for. Thank you all for your patience and compassion. Thank you for being my feet when I could not stand. I love you all more than flip flops!



~My daughter, though she is only 17, is the strongest, bravest, wisest human that I will ever know.  She lost the only sibling she would ever have, her big brother, her protector, her friend.   Even at times this year when she has been hurt by life and sometimes found herself in situations that have been harsh she has persevered.  Being strong for me, being my voice of reason when I needed her, being my life jacket on days when I thought I would drown.  Not outwardly showing her own pain and in turn sadly sometimes not getting as much of the emotional support that she has needed.  Kyli, you continually amaze me.  Your determination, your motivation and your emotional intelligence are a blessing to me everyday.  We as parents try to teach our kids the ways to navigate through life but sometimes they are the teachers.

I want to truly thank all of you reading this blog for supporting me this year, thank you for listening, thank you for thinking of me, thank you for caring.  Please always try to see the good in others, love each other and never be silent.


With all my heart,

Kellie XOXO